Sawing a log
Carol Blotter • January 29, 2022
Have you ever had “one of those days” where it feels like it’s just one thing after another? A friend had started a new job in a new industry. Flying home from a trip, they discovered someone had stolen their car from the airport parking lot. When they got back to their newly purchased home which was finally almost complete with its renovation – dust and old nails everywhere – they discovered it had developed a leak from the new roof and the plaster ceiling had soaked through. AND they might have been exposed to COVID and had developed a severe head cold. Sometimes life happens like that.
Right now, maybe for you it’s just the exhaustion of the pandemic. Or a troubled relative. Or work. Or the environment. Or…
Whatever it is, that “something” gets your heart going, your mind going and you just can’t let go. You can’t find calm anywhere. When that happens, you might try thinking about the act of sawing a log.
When you are sawing a log, your attention is at the spot where the log and saw meet. You need to have focus there in order to ensure a clean cut, to maintain pressure and ensure the cut is close to what you expect. At the same time, your awareness covers the whole saw since you don't want to pull the teeth off the log and you don't want the saw stuck. In the same manner, you have awareness of the log so it doesn't roll or slip unexpectedly. (Sometimes it slips no matter what you do but awareness of the log eases the surprise.)
Both attention and awareness. Some call it narrow attention and open awareness, both held in the mind.
If an unexpected situation arises that needs our attention, we often narrow our awareness to the point where that one situation is all we are aware of. If it is unpleasant or disruptive, it can get so big we cannot see it clearly and can’t appreciate the context in which it is happening in. Besides the physical and mental reactions and the stories that proliferate, possible other solutions and alternatives don’t seem to be apparent when we are so focused. We are locked into narrow attention and sometimes it can be overwhelming.
In letting awareness expand, the importance of the situation and its detail is not minimized though the intensity may be softened. And in that softening, we potentially can create some space around the situation. Relaxing a bit, we may discover other opportunities. Or, perhaps this is the time the log slids. Sometimes we have no control over that. Yet that open awareness does present ways of reacting to the slid without losing perspective. After all, we still are here to experience it.
Try to stop, take a breath and open your awareness. Go quickly through the five senses – what are you seeing, hearing and so forth. Notice the feelings and sensations in the body. Notice the state of the mind. Take a moment to be grateful for something.
Then notice that there are always alternative ways of being. There are always things to be grateful for. Let that moment of noticing lighten your journey.
Sitting in the center, we serenely watch Yes and No chasing each other endlessly.
I love the parable of an elephant and three blind men. I’m sure you all know it. Each man touches a different part of the elephant and describes it based on his limited perspective. One touches the leg and declares an elephant is like a tree trunk. Another grabs the tail and “knows” an elephant is like a rope. The third holds an ear and says an elephant is like a fan. Each is “right” from their perspective. People argue and fight over what is true. They fail to acknowledge that their individual "truths" are only part of a larger reality. Their truth is not the whole truth. To grasp the whole truth, an integration of different viewpoints, experiences and perceptions helps. When we hold on to a single, narrow view, we are unable to see reality clearly. Being curious and listening to other’s views opens our own vision. For example, someone did something unskillful in the past and you don’t like them. One action does not make the whole person! Do you approach them as if it does? It’s not to condone behavior but perhaps to be willing to open to a different view. Or you meet with friends from the past. Not only do you have different memories of the past – each of you having highlighted a different piece of the event in your minds – but also you hold different expectations of each other in the present. How can you see who is in front of you while holding onto a view of the past? How often do you approach the next moment with true clarity? In Pali, the language used to document the Buddha’s initial teaching, Vipassana means “seeing clearly”. It’s more than just mindfulness or sitting meditation. It is also investigating the true nature of all phenomenon; impermanent, unsatisfactory and not-self. It’s understanding the role that feeling, perception, memory and thought play in coloring reality. And so much more. Ultimately, seeing clearly is often more than just Buddhism. Many other traditions offer different strategies to see the truth. The truth is multi-faceted and the integration of other paths can help deepen wisdom. A daylong meditation retreat offers an opportunity to investigate what might be coloring your view, to name one “elephant” that might be obscuring your sight. At the same time, the retreat space offers time in nature to enjoy the woods, a lake and quiet spaciousness. It offers a time to refresh ourselves and as the mind quiets, we can see more clearly.
Silence is something that comes from your heart, not from outside. Silence doesn’t mean not talking and not doing things; it means that you are not disturbed inside. If you’re truly silent, then no matter what situation you find yourself in, you can enjoy the silence. - Thich Nhat Hanh “Silence is not merely negative – the pause between words, a temporary cessation of speech – but, properly understood, it is highly positive: an attitude of attentive alertness, of vigilance, and above all of listening.” - Archimandrite Kallistos Ware “We need silence, not to escape from ourselves but to know the foundation, the roots, the tendencies of our true nature. There is in us a zone where noise and tumult have no place, and a zone where everything reverberates. When we try to return to the inner, vital zone, it is not to cancel the noise. We do not make use of our moments of collectedness as a retreat. Inner silence is comparable to a light that reveals what is in the shadows, reveals our mechanicality. When we deeply relax, our attention unglues itself little by little from our preoccupations, our identifications. It moves, gropingly, toward the zone of silence… During the experience of inner silence, if thoughts appear, they pass as if upon a screen. Our emotions are short-lived movements that do not carry us toward externals. Our moments of inner openness are linked to the silence.” - Alphonse Osbert “Do not worship silence, but that to which the silence leads.” - Tom Rothschild “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. - Herman Hesse
Dukkha is a Pali word that is usually translated as suffering. It covers a wide range of experiences from slight irritation through boredom to extreme cases of suffering. The Buddha, in his teachings, emphasized the cause of dukkha and the release from dukkha. One way to look at the cause of suffering is that we want this present moment to be different than it is and our thoughts about that desire become a story. Our stories of what did happen, what is happening and what we want to happen color the present moment; the stories color reality; they color our true heart. We aren’t present. If something is beautiful, we may not appreciate it fully. If something is hurtful or unpleasant, we react from emotion and memory instead of moving towards what we value in life. We believe most of our thoughts and stories and aren’t even aware of how often we think of them. We are so addicted to thinking that we don’t even know when we are doing it. And we are causing ourselves suffering each time! My suggestion? What worked for me was super sticky Post-It notes all through the house that say, “STOP YOUR THOUGHTS NOW”. Trust the possibility that the thoughts will lessen. As they do, the mind isn’t so full. Our hearts can arise to see and lead us into new ways of interacting with the world. Meditation helps, not only the formal practice but an informal practice every waking moment. Stop, breathe, continue - and notice the thoughts stopped.
